Hate mail, Vol. II (Valentine's Day edition)

Let's celebrate Valentine's Day together, albeit one day late. As a cynical young lass, I was never much one for the holiday. The candy, to be sure, was exquisite (barring the year in grade school where I gorged myself on chocolate a bit too enthusiastically, and spent the afternoon throwing up....fun stuff), but it all seemed a bit commercial and, well, if you need a holiday to remind you why you care about someone, isn't it time to reevaluate the relationship?

As I grew older, I changed my position on the matter and bought into the Valentine's Day notion wholeheartedly. I am pleased to say that I am back to my original position. Now, today's feature isn't hate mail per se - more like "hate diatribe" - but the invective was so....inspired....that it warranted WTH mention. After all, nothing says "I love you" like comparing someone to R2-D2 (and it ain't because I'm small and cute, I'm afraid). To wit:

You are a robot.
A robot with no heart.
A robot that destroys other people.
You're like a robot with bombs of destruction. (huh?)
A nuclear-armed robot. (HUH?)
You're an insane robot.
A robot with a tape recorder for a heart. (???!!!)
Robots have no feelings, so you invent them.

I don't think my laughter, crescendoing to open derision by the end of this little chat, did much to disprove this misguided individual's critique of Yours Truly, but....seriously? A robot? A nuclear armed robot???

It kind of reminds me of the phrase used by the mother of a high school ex to describe me after breaking up with her wittle baybe:

She's just a devil who walks around in cute shoes breaking men's hearts.

Now, I wasn't aware that robots, devils or no, were capable of wearing shoes. But then, the woman who uttered that particular witticism was none too mentally stable herself - after the breakup, she actually doused a hat I'd left at their house in lighter fluid and burned it. Normal behavior? Um, not so much.

I think the expression of Fearless Leader Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin best sums up Valentine's Day for me. Behind his beady little eyes, I just know he's thinking..."what the hella?"