Yet another update from the Motherland: visit Russia and you will get eaten by humongous bears. This is precisely what happened to two very unlucky mine workers in Kamchatka, a region in Russia's far east. The news release begins with this highly disturbing sentence: "A pack of enormous bears searching for food killed and ate two men." Yummy! Vkusno! The poor gigantic bears were tired of borscht, apparently. (I don't blame them. That stuff sucks.)
This brings back many memories of hanging out by the Winter Palace only to see some joker walk by with a bear on a leash. I would always think.....not such a good idea. And now, voila! Apparently exercising some good judgment for once, the local men refuse to go to work at the mines now for fear that they too will be devoured by the pack of 30+ hungry bears. Needless to say, this puts the kibbosh once and for all on my husband's plans to go hunting for bear in Siberia with some of his friends.
What disturbs me even more, though, is how this story relates to the Minnesota Zoo's latest creation, which the imported husband and I went to visit just a week ago. Russia's Grizzly Coast - yes, and now to truly experience life in Kamchatka, one must step through the cage and be devoured by a gigantic bear. Prekrasno!
7.16.2008
To catch a predator
OMG. There's irony and then there's.....this. Today's reigning fucktard deserves WTH excoriation for the following act of idiocy: 33 year old Daniel Allen Everett of Clarkston, Michigan solicited a 14 year old girl for sex on the internet. That's creepy and wrong and, in itself, deserving of public shaming (although sadly such things happen too frequently to merit daily WTH shout-outs).
What really takes this debacle to the next level of fucked up is his choice of attire for the illicit rendezvous: a t-shirt bearing the words "World's Greatest Dad." The court is still trying to determine as of press time whether or not this scumbag has kids. I pray to the gods I don't believe in that he doesn't, but honestly....I wouldn't be surprised. Disgusted, but not one whit surprised.
What really takes this debacle to the next level of fucked up is his choice of attire for the illicit rendezvous: a t-shirt bearing the words "World's Greatest Dad." The court is still trying to determine as of press time whether or not this scumbag has kids. I pray to the gods I don't believe in that he doesn't, but honestly....I wouldn't be surprised. Disgusted, but not one whit surprised.
7.11.2008
You've got me all caught up inside....literally
Duuuuuuuuuuuuude....it's just way too easy to find WTH fodder in ze Motherland! Today, in my beloved former city of residence, St. Petersburg, a woman killed her husband by smashing him up inside a fold-out couch.
The couple was having an argument because the husband (in traditional klassno Russian man style) was drunk on the couch in his underwear and refused to move. So the wifey gets angry, kicks the couch, and "accidentally" trips the lever that causes the couch to retract. Ooops. Then she leaves for a couple of hours and returns to find....a folded up couch and no husband. But just like a Russian stacking doll, the husband is inside the couch - very much dead!! In the least surprising part of the story, reports say that the police are now investigating.
The couple was having an argument because the husband (in traditional klassno Russian man style) was drunk on the couch in his underwear and refused to move. So the wifey gets angry, kicks the couch, and "accidentally" trips the lever that causes the couch to retract. Ooops. Then she leaves for a couple of hours and returns to find....a folded up couch and no husband. But just like a Russian stacking doll, the husband is inside the couch - very much dead!! In the least surprising part of the story, reports say that the police are now investigating.
7.10.2008
Cover your belly buttons in the presence of heads of state
As a writer, I'm often told "write about what you know," so here we go - another post regarding bizarre-o life in Russia. In this case, a picture is worth a thousand words. The pic is from summer 2006 (July, if I recall correctly...the image is seared into my mind forever). Vladimir Vladimirovich was hangin' out at the Kremlin when, for no explicable reason, he decided to play nicey with some Russian citizens paying a visit to their nation's capital.
And....he expresses his affection by pulling up a little boy's shirt and kissing his belly button. I'm not saying anything but...that's just kind of.....weird.
And....he expresses his affection by pulling up a little boy's shirt and kissing his belly button. I'm not saying anything but...that's just kind of.....weird.
7.07.2008
The Bear & the Boor
Well this is a backhanded compliment if ever I heard one. Our soon-to-be ex-President Dubya was just in Japan for a G-8 meeting, the first with new Russian "President" Dmitri Medvedev in attendance. Dima & Dubya had time for a little heart to heart, after which America's Fearless Leader praised Medvedev as being - and I quote - "a smart guy who understands the issues very well."
Coming from Bush, I'm not sure intellectual praise is a compliment. The man can't think his way out of a wet paper bag. Dubya continues - "I'm not going to sit here and psychoanalyze the man." [Oh really? That's a shame. I'm sure Mitya would have loooooved to lie on a couch and tell you about his childhood!] "But I will tell you that he's very comfortable, very confident, and I believe that when he tells me something, he means it." [Oh-kaaaayyyyyy Candide. I too believe that when people tell me something, they always mean it. I also believe in the Tooth Fairy!]
The hilarious part, of course, is that Bush could have saved himself the trouble and directed his (admittedly ironic) praise toward Russia's Prime Minister, where it rightfully belongs. Mr. Putin is still running the show - Medvedev knows it, everyone knows it but Bush. Hell, the man won't even take down his presidential portrait from his own office, or relinquish the presidential pen or chair for Kremlin cabinet meetings! I'm sure Vladimir Vladimirovich was having a good laugh over Bush's unfortunate praise. Poor Dmitri, however, just looks uncomfortable as all hell.
Coming from Bush, I'm not sure intellectual praise is a compliment. The man can't think his way out of a wet paper bag. Dubya continues - "I'm not going to sit here and psychoanalyze the man." [Oh really? That's a shame. I'm sure Mitya would have loooooved to lie on a couch and tell you about his childhood!] "But I will tell you that he's very comfortable, very confident, and I believe that when he tells me something, he means it." [Oh-kaaaayyyyyy Candide. I too believe that when people tell me something, they always mean it. I also believe in the Tooth Fairy!]
The hilarious part, of course, is that Bush could have saved himself the trouble and directed his (admittedly ironic) praise toward Russia's Prime Minister, where it rightfully belongs. Mr. Putin is still running the show - Medvedev knows it, everyone knows it but Bush. Hell, the man won't even take down his presidential portrait from his own office, or relinquish the presidential pen or chair for Kremlin cabinet meetings! I'm sure Vladimir Vladimirovich was having a good laugh over Bush's unfortunate praise. Poor Dmitri, however, just looks uncomfortable as all hell.
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