"Gifts" that I hope Santa would never, ever bring me

Let me preface this with a disclaimer: I understand mental illness isn't a joke. I have people close to me with various psychiatric issues. (Surprisingly, the charming individual I see reflected in mirrors isn't one of them.) So please, don't tell me I am dismissing outright the plight of people with psychiatric illness.

That being said, what the hella? This is the lamest thing I have ever read:



MPG??? Multiple Personality Gift???? WTH? Um......where to even begin? So-called "people first" language? Gag me with a big ol' spoonful of politically correct bullshit. Sorry, but as a student of grammar, there really isn't a difference between saying "disabled individual" and "individual with disabilities." I get the point, okay? People don't want to be defined by their physical limitations/deafness/blindness/mental illness/whatever. Fine! Good, in fact! I wouldn't want to be thought of as no more than an extension of my so-called "disability" either, were I in their shoes. But for the love of Christ, inverting word order doesn't make a damn bit of difference. It really doesn't. If someone is describing me at a cocktail party, do I see any difference between saying "the red-haired girl" and "the girl with the red hair"? That would be a big fat no. Am I defined by my hair color .... or occupation ..... or race ..... or economic background ..... or the fact that I have a super rare brain condition that makes my eyes flicker slightly and gave me a photographic memory when I was little? Uh.....only if I let those things define me. So too with "people first" language. You wanna put yourself before your disability? Fabulous! Do it by acting like an individual who is, as all individuals are, a composite of many traits. But kowtowing to awkward, sanctimonious language in the name of political correctness makes me want to vomit on my Ferragamo loafers.

And more to the point - MPG? Multiple personalities as a gift? Shit, that seems a bit presumptuous. I have a relative who's schizophrenic, and I don't think he sees it as a gift. I'm sure he would love to change the chemical imbalance in his brain. He can't. But to call something that is often debilitating and most certainly frustrating for the person who has it a "gift" seems callous at best, and smug and offensive at worst. Multiple personality gift? What next? Cancer gift? Tuberculosis surprise? Depression present? I'm not diminishing the severity of the conditions; I'm mocking the morons that are so uncomfortable talking about tough conditions that they couch everything in bullshit, nicey-nice terms (and are ohsoquick to cry foul if you say anything on the topic whatsoever). You're not doing anyone a favor, folks: certainly not the people who are often described in such saccherine terms, people who (I would guess) would rather just think of themselves as, well, people....not recipients of bizarre "gifts" a la Sybil.